I'm sorry my penis didn't work
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
