did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
