Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
