Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
