1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
