I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
