Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
