Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
