so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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