A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
