haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
