So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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