Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
