There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
