I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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