After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Dicks are not precious.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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