i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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