A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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