Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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