I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize