9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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