If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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