Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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