I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
The power of my boobs compel you
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
