Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
