So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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