whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
