But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
