508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
