i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
