If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
