Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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