i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
