Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
