i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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