So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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