So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Those nachos came to me in a dream
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
