Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
