i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
