Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
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