Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Randomize