Barsexuality is the new black.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
