I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
