So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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