I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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