if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
