Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
