i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
