Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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