I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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