WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
