the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
