He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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