How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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