just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
