Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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