His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize