You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
