She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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