I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
