Buhtt sex?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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