my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
