so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
