I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Randomize
