I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
