girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
My vagina is officially offended.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize