wake up i wanna do it froggy style
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
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