I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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