You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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