just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
